Why Confidence Starts With Identity

(Not Performance) + Quick Reset

Author

Jacqueline Twillie
May 29, 2025

Weekly roundup

Resilient Leader Insider: Quick Insight + Actionable Reset

Evidence-based leadership strategies for high-stakes professionals

Power Phrase of the Week: "Confidence starts with identity, not applause."

Can You Relate?

High Stakes Meetings

Have you ever felt that familiar tension before a high-stakes meeting, crucial presentation, or difficult conversation—even when you're more than prepared? Maybe it's the boardroom butterflies, the pre-pitch jitters, or that voice whispering "Do I really belong here?"

That's your brain's alarm system kicking in, questioning your place in the room.

What's really happening in these moments isn't weakness—it's biology. And once you understand the science, you can work with your brain instead of against it.

Here's the science-backed truth: your brain has a "Confidence Center" that lights up when you root back into your identity. It's not about performance—it's about purpose.

The Science Behind It All

Your Confidence Center

Tracee Ellis Ross Reaction GIF by ABC Network

The ventromedial prefrontal cortex, known as the Confidence Center, regulates decision-making and stress responses. When you anchor in your values, this region helps steady your mindset and quiet the noise of self-doubt.

I've seen this play out in my own work. Last week, right before a negotiation, I felt the nerves creep in. My anchor? "I've navigated tougher terrain. I lead with courage." It shifted me from questioning to leading and the negotiation went better than expected.

Leadership Lab:

Try This 2-Step Reset

Reset GIF by SoundMind

  1. Step 1: Create Your Anchor Statement (Takes 3 minutes)

    • Pick a core value and pair it with a lived truth.

    • Example: "I lead with courage. I've made hard calls before and I'm still standing."

    • This becomes your personal reminder—a steady thread when the stakes are high.

    • Do this once, then use it repeatedly.

    Step 2: Flip Your Self-Talk (Use 5 minutes before high-stakes moments)

    • Use third-person language: "You've got this, [Your Name]."

    • Research from Ethan Kross and David Creswell (University of Michigan, 2014) shows this small shift lowers emotional reactivity by 27%, rewiring your brain to show up calm and confident.

    • Try this right before your next challenging conversation or meeting.

This Confidence Rewired Series has 4 more weeks. Want personalized insight? Email me at [email protected]
What Success Looks Like

Indicators…

Watch for these indicators the technique is working: steadier breathing, clearer thinking, reduced second-guessing, and that familiar "I've got this" feeling settling in.

Implementation Corner

Write Your Anchor Statement

Write your anchor statement on a sticky note and keep it visible during your workday. Repetition rewires your brain. Use the third-person self-talk technique for one week and track the shift in your confidence levels.

I'd love to hear your anchor phrase. Hit reply and share it with me I'll feature a few powerful ones in next week's issue, because real confidence doesn't come from applause. It's built from within.

Coming Up Next Week

How to hold onto this identity-driven confidence in toxic workplaces and high-stress environments. We'll explore the "Confidence Shield" technique that protects your inner anchor when external pressure mounts.