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When You’re Good at What You Do But Still Question Yourself
You’re Not Alone in This Confidence Spiral
Jacqueline Twillie
May 23, 2025
Weekly roundup
Hey resilient leaders! Here’s what’s happening this week
You were prepared. You did the work. But somehow, one moment—a question, a pause, a shift in the room—knocked your confidence off center. And now you're wondering why something so small hit so hard. You're not overreacting. Your brain is reacting exactly as it was wired to.
Resilient Leader
When Performance Becomes Identity
Sometimes it’s not the awkward moment or tricky question that shakes your confidence; it’s the meaning you assign to it afterward.
When your identity is tightly linked to performance, even a tiny misstep can flip your inner script from “I’m solid” to “Maybe I don’t belong here.”
And that shift doesn’t happen because you’re not qualified; it happens because your brain’s alarm system is wired to protect you.
But here’s what we often miss:
Confidence doesn’t vanish in an instant. That’s precisely what I unpack in the latest episode of the Winning Season podcast. | It drips away through quiet overthinking, second-guessing, and the subtle stories we tell ourselves in the aftermath. Try two science-backed tools to stop that downward spiral before it takes root: I explain in detail… |
Resilience Building Tips
What I didn’t share in the podcast
If you don’t create a system for processing these moments, your default will always be retreat, and you deserve better than that.
Here are 3 ways to take your power back today:
Untangle your identity from your outcomes.
Ask yourself: What external signal am I giving too much weight? Awareness here is your leverage.Create a comeback cue.
This can be a phrase, gesture, or reminder that grounds you before your inner critic takes the mic. (Mine is: “I’ve earned this room.”)Track your bounce-backs.
Start noting how long it takes you to shift from spiraling to steady. That’s your growth data, not perfection, but recovery speed.
For more tips
In case you missed it
🎧 The episode you want to listen to
It gives you the language and tools to rewire your response with intention.
This is for you if you’ve ever walked out of a meeting questioning everything you’ve learned.
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What Happens When Your Mind Betrays Your Readiness?
Have you ever had a moment where your confidence unraveled, even though you were technically prepared?
Have you ever had a moment where your confidence unraveled, even though you were technically prepared?Choose the option that feels most like you: |
That’s it for this week.
Keep showing up, and try the tools.
Your response shapes what comes next in the Winning Season series. We’re building this with real stories and real stakes in mind.
P.S.
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